RIUSAB: THE Nth ITERATION / BACK TO MUZAK

RIUSAB TRACES THE ORIGINS OF BLOG HOUSE AND OTHER THOUGHTS:

but first (first), give it up for discodust for hyping the shit out of miami horror - even if dude's output is variable like Hil-C, the new remix via discodust tears the fabric of the dance-rock continuum.

Faker - This Heart Attack (Miami Horror Remix)...cop it here

Plus, since Americans are so fucking stupid (as if we needed YouTube evidence of that), Axwell's new-ish joint "Submariner" has been slept on over here. No longer. Although we at RIUSAB will say this...we'd like to see a Swede or Brit smart enough to vote for Huckster.

ON TO THE SUBJECT DU JOUR

"Blog house" has been around for a long time - some researchers trace it back to the late Antebellum Period, others to the storming of the Bastille (believed to be the period when Palms Out first blogged the shit out of that one-off Stardust jam). We at RIUSAB believe the phenomenon has much more recent roots...the Stereophonics, in particular 05's Language Sex Violence Other. For fuck's sake, just look at the album's name - practically the Ed Banger manifesto. The big dumb rock sound, the kinda eh tossed off electronic elements, the use of dynamics (or lack thereof...but sorta-breakdowns sometimes!) /crushing compression (clearly no other bands were on that shit yet), the so-stupid-they're-dancefloor-perfect lyrics. And just try to tell us you can't hear a Justice "remix". RIUSAB Reports, You Decide: if you could rewind your time, would you change your life?

THE DEEP END '08: RIUSAB FLIP-FLOPS IN

Happy new year, snitches/whatevs. First of all, we at RIUSAB have some vicious, patently false, kind-of-true-once-but-not-anymore rumors to clear up. Reports that the coveted RIUSAB Official Presidential Endorsement for 2008 (better known as RIUSABOPEf08) had been bestowed upon Mitt Romney were greatly exaggerated. RIUSAB still fucks wit Moroni, but check yourself: we believe in putting the national interest above our Wikipedia research personal beliefs.

Therefore, we are proud to announce RIUSAB's RIUSAB Official Presidential Endorsement for 2008 (better known as RIUSABOPEf08):

Former Arkansas Governor and newly-svelte young(ish) lad Mike Huckabee. The more skeptical among you will claim we just have an e-erection for Chuck Norris like some pathetic Conan fangur1snb0is. You'd be wrong. Dead wrong. The man's a rock-aaand-roll musician.

Now, if Gov. Huckabee were just some run-of-the-mill acoustic guitar swinging jayhsus freak, we'd be less interested. But bear witness: BASS. AND CREEDENCE.

All of which begs the question: could Huckabee be the Second Coming?

The only way to find out - elect him and wait for the wheat to be separated from the Democratic left-wing-conspiracy liberal atheist secularist abortionist chaff. If Huckabee God is the Wise, Merciful, All-Knowing God we at RIUSAB believe Him to be, Kevin Barnes will perish immediately.

RIUSAB: A PLACE TO BURY YEAR-END LISTS

We here at RIUSAB know better than to hype the level of hype, unlike most. But wow, the rest of you wasted a lot of breath and virtual space. Here are things that came out in 2007 - they may be the worst, they may be the best - either way, we're pretty positive they came out this year.

SINGLE OF 2007

1. "Umbrella" (performed by Rihanna)

We'd cover another single, but apparently this is the only one that came out. All you need to know is that Jay wrote this shit. Seriously. Apparently Jagged Little Pill is in "high" rotation at the HOVmansion - "ELLA ELLA...EH EH EH" indeed.


ALBUMS OF 2007

5. Blonde Redhead - 23

RIUSAB's favorite U2 production sounds + our favorite old Blonde Redhead songs = great music for those 45 minute power RIUSAB naps.

4. A Place To Bury Strangers - s/t

omg, best band name to happen to the internets EVAR. Just ask Chris Ott (dude probably found their equipment for them, though). Or us. Also, wow, you guys are LOUD. If only another band with guitars had thought of that.

3. Jay-Z - American Gangster

Better than the movie! (wait...)

2. Stars - In Our Bedroom After The War

We never actually listened to it, but, um, the title? Seriously.

1. Deerhunter - Cryptograms

The RIUSAB staff had our most serious debate ever about tackling this album. Needless to say, we settled on playing some bass, wearing dresses, and screaming over a loop from that Seefeel record. We present our review, entitled 'Cryptograms.'



FILMS OF 2007

5. 3:10 To Yuma

Christian Bale plays a concerned father almost as convincingly as he plays Batman.

4. Transformers

Speaking of acting ability, Shia LaBeouf plays Shia LaBeouf almost as convincingly as Shia LaBeouf himself.

3. The Bourne Ultimatum

There certainly were a lot of cuts. And cars. And fights. Let no one say Hollywood doesn't do Hollywood anymore.

2. No Country For Old Men

No movie for RIUSAB staffers. Or was it?

1. American Gangster

We vote for Denzel, Russ, and Ridley to try a Western next. Here's hoping they keep the same script, just changing key words and settings. You know, or not.

IT'S RIUSAB, BITCH (Plus Big Shots 2 More Hott Trax )

Presumably you all know what today is. That's right, the day this happened. Also, Britney Spears has released a new album. Plenty of critics/publications are already going for the knockout punch, including the always-original J. Freedom du Lac of the WashPost and noted mainstream pop supporters Popmatters. Abridged version, cuz we know y'all need to get to Mickey D's raht qweck: Britney sounds like a robot! If only she could be more like that JT guy who put out the album all the critics liked (even k-punk)...you know, the tellingly titled FutureSex/LoveSounds, which meant it was all about sounding human and shit. Or about fucking. Anyway, we've come a long way in criticism, and it's good to see that we're finally starting to ask our pop stars to sound more like original, talented performers/creators. Let no one accuse American music criticism of sliding into reactionary stances of late. There's surely nothing reactionary about praising Bruce Springsteen imitators for just that and criticizing pop music for sounding too manufactured/inhuman (futuristic?). Not like that's the point or anything. Excuse us, we're going to go Blackout.


MORE RIUSAB SNAX FR YR ERS:

Chromo & Club84 - Dirty Cops (Club84 After Sunset Remix)

These guys collabbed on the original, but Club84 reworks his own to some badass effect. Sacrifices some of the tenderness of the orig to get all hard-edged in this motherfucker...nice track to serious mid-set banger before you can say 'Chromo & Club84' (via Disco Workout - go get it).

The Outrunners - Blazing Speed and Neon Lights With You

French, housetastic, and unsigned? Improbable. Luckily, the boys (or robots) are part of Valerie, so you know they'll be aite. Yet another frontrunner (ha) in the never-ending 'NEXT KAVINSKY' sweepstakes. Speaking of...

Harrison Schaaf - Zombie Outbreak

Coming to us courtesy of the tres-superb Palms Out Sound, dude works that synth modulation and them section transitions like nozombie's business. Even better, he can throw in some serious breaks without getting on the whole "HEY LOOK HERE IT COMES" anticipatory tip.

Jay-Z - Pray (from American Gangster)

Get it. NOW.

RIUSAB Top [Some Number] (Re-edit)

Seems about time for a rundown on some hot 'n' juicy RIUSAB trax of 07:



M.I.A. - Paper Planes (Remix ft Bun B and Rich Boy) - zshare



Holy RIUSAB. If you have somehow managed to avoid hearing this one...fuck you, first off. Second off, go listen and get off. Thrice. RIUSAB guaranteed. Remix of the year, mostly because it does so little, and that's totally the new doing a lot again.



Yelle - A Cause Des Garcons (Punks Jump Up Remix) - zshare



Aite, Discobelle scooped the shit out of us on this one (and maybe some other shit too - it's just our job 5 days a week) , but check it. Worth your while on many levels (their newish remix of Remi Nicole too). We at RIUSAB plan on spinning this ish anywhere and everywhere - get ya Francophone on, Amuricka.



Punkin' Machine - I Need You Tonight



Fuck James Murphy. No really. With that said, this shit was a great find - best thing on his contribution to the Fabriclive series - fuck what yr cuz and his blogger momz' friendz say about "Still Going Theme." It might not be 07 per se, but we've been dropping it like it's hot just to check...turns out it is. Almost makes us want to crate dig again. Almost.





In other news, that same punk over at Following The Century takes another shot at RIUSAB. Would have thought we schooled his/her ass badly enough the other day, but no. We'd love to waste more breath on the subject, but we're choosing to spend it all on:

So close to current (but already washed-up) hype band Black Kids. We almost gave them the coveted RIUSAB High School Cover Band of the Week title in September...but then we discovered that their songs just "sound like" the work of other bands. They were still technically eligible for the equally coveted RIUSAB Derivative High School Band of the Week with Future Potential title, but we haven't done that one in a while - still waiting for some teens who can rip off "Dirty Work." Also, turns out they're not in high school. Kind of the last straw.

RIUSAB LEGALIZES BEEF

Yet again, some useless "blogger" decides to take a shot, like a bone-wielding ape, at the gleaming-monolith-from-outer-space that is RIUSAB. Don't believe it? We wouldn't either if we hadn't seen this entry ourselves. Among other juicy bits, RIUSAB is now apparently part of the realm of "indie criticism" - thanks, but no thanks. Luckily, this Following the Century blog covers/supports some really good music - like, you know, post-rock and Pavement. Frankly, we couldn't be more surprised - we were expecting maybe some positive mentions for Gin Blossoms or Luda.

Anyway, as we've mentioned before, albums like Proof of Youth are Saving Music. And every time we hear Of Montreal, the whole staff just HAS to go out to T.G.I. Friday's (or is it Ruby Tuesday). To spend a bunch of time complaining about the current state of indie pop is a bit like complaining about Britney's parenting skills - Perez beat us to both.

We at RIUSAB would like to commend Following the Century on that excellent opening manifesto, however - as we've also addressed before, nothing is needed more now than self-important, ultra-serious blogs about music. Hence RIUSAB.

Mondays with RIUSAB

As RIUSAB goes ever upward and onward, we like to stop and reflect sometimes. Things we've realized this week:

You'd think Sharon Jones could have waited a few years before copping Amy Wino's moves so hard. Young artists these days. Also, her backing band is totally not as good.

Serious writing about music is almost as important as music about serious writing.

We at RIUSAB love it when once-great music writers are reduced to tongue-in-ass blogging about their own demographic and strip club playlists.

Oh and we couldn't be bothered to review the Georgie James album either.